Reaction Without Fear, Part 2

Wellness |

hen determining the type of fear you are dealing with try looking at the bigger picture. Step aside, slow down and notice what you are afraid of. For me, it would have been losing money, having to adjust my lifestyle, but it all came down to one thing, change.

I also had to confront my fear of failure. Did I do something bad? Maybe I didn’t deserve that account? But in truth, I discovered that it was the best things to happen to my company and me. Once those accounts left, it freed up my time to do other projects that were much more profitable and brought much joy to my life. The chaos of those accounts disappeared. It wasn’t until I was ready to let go of that chaos that I made room for the things I really wanted to do.

This is where it becomes tricky, because in order to find this peace we so desperately want, it all comes down to YOU making the choice to be truthful to yourself. This is often the hardest part of learning not to react. It is you and you alone that must face the fear surrounding that issue. And it is you who must choose to venture deep into the dark side of yourself. Most of us have heard the story about a husband and wife getting into a knock-down, drag-out fight based on him leaving the cap off the toothpaste, knowing fully it wasn’t the action that created the reaction, it was the underlying issue that caused it. The cap being off the toothpaste was just the nudge to get you to notice — to get you to address the issues affecting your life.

In each of us at some point in our life we are asked to look at fearful issues. They are often brought to our attention with soft gentle nudges. It’s only when we continually ignore these nudges that we experience major traumatic events.

If you can take the time and action to become aware now, you’ll find a life filled with less of these dramatic events — events that force the change or force the issue to come to the surface.

When a situation is immersed in emotion, fear will always be the first reaction. When that happens, always start out by asking yourself the question, “What am I afraid of here?” When you encounter a person who is going off on you and you find yourself wanting to react to them, be aware that you have just pushed their buttons, and you will be confronted with the choice of playing in their fear. You can choose to play, but you take on the risk of having your own buttons pushed. So when confronted with these situations you have a choice to either join them in their fear storm, or wait quietly in your “being” until the storm calms.

When a child is fearful, you wouldn’t react by yelling, stomping your feet and making a scene would you? Most of us would become calm, wanting to comfort and hold that child. Try to make him or her feel safe so their fear would dissipate. Remember the trick is to donothing. You don’t have to talk, or bring anything to their attention. You don’t have to do a thing, and by you not reacting you create a safe place of peace, without judgment. This is where a more positive outcome may emerge.

OK, so it’s not so easy to stay calm while someone is going off on you. It takes practice, and it takes courage. When you react out of fear you lose your energy.

That’s why you always feel drained after a fear-filled encounter. When you hold onto that fear that’s when disease and illness set in, but when you react in balance of the mind, body and spirit you gain a peaceful strength that can allow you to move mountains.